Public Transport and Beer

I’ve been a little bit too negative over the past month about my host country, so in an effort to clear the air and let the rest of the world know that this place isn’t so bad I’d like to address a few issues which are just nice about being here.

 

Public Transportation

 Let me back up and start out by saying that Novosibirsk, and most of the world has a better public transportation system than my hometown of Denver, Colorado.  First, in Denver, the busses are usually late and they don’t really work on the weekends, and when they do they stop at crazy times like 6pm or 7pm.  They don’t really go out the ‘burbs and when they do, it’s only about once an hour.  That coupled with the fact that they are expensive, anywhere from $1.75- $4.25. 

Now, let’s compare that to the Russia, and in particular, Novosibirsk.  Here, the busses start at 6am and go until 11pm; now true there isn’t a set schedule, but they just come every 5, 10, or 15 minutes.  You pay 17 rubles, which is about $0.75 and even though you may be stuck sharing your personal space with a woman who hasn’t seen or touched a toothbrush in about week, in the end it’s worth it.  You don’t have to walk miles on end to find a bus stop, and you don’t have to worry about waiting for hours on end either.   

Plus, on the bus you can see every person from society:

 1) the rich girl who can’t drive and even though she’s decked out in Gucci and Versace using her i-Phone and pretending that she’s too good to be there

2) next to the spoiled yet beautiful girl is a couple who escaped from 1986 who have matching mullets, complete with the woman wearing unflattering jeans and the man wearing something trying to be a plaid vest.  This couple never got the memo that matching haircut were never, ever in style for a reason

3) a group of teenagers from jamming out to music and not caring what anyone thinks

4) a guy with dreadlocks and ear tunnels who could pass for an American hippie

5) a random collection of old people (these need their own subcategory)

a) the old man with gold teeth whose hands are covered in fading jail tattoos

b) the babushka with cart of mysterious cargo who is the size of a sumo wrestler, complete with a scarf around her head, three sweaters and will insist that she is cold even though it’s 20C

c) the tiny, frail babushka who can barely walk and you really just want to give this poor woman a wheelchair because she clearly needs it

d) the old man also with a cart of stuff who looks like he can give birth to triplets

e) the mega old man who is wearing an old military suit

6) the women with strollers who will go out of their way to roll over people’s toes and yet yell at you because they are the ones who are troubled

7) the woman who demands a prize and a seat for carrying a kid who can clearly walk, but she’s too busy over coddling him to realize that the kid is 6 years old

8) all the men who are drinking beer on the bus; seriously, it always makes me smile when I just on at 8am and see three guys drinking beer

9) the annoyed office workers who would love to get to work without being late or getting their suits dirty

10) the other fashionably challenged people from all ages who think socks and sandals are a good idea; these people also think that leopard patterns and polka dots can be worn together, or tracksuits and high heels look sexy

Really, the only thing that’s truly painful about riding any form of public transportation is getting on or off the bus.  People love to panic and bottle neck and just stand near the door at all times.  This is not Tokyo, Beijing, Chicago or Mumbai; there is no reason at all to push and panic and push people out of the way to get on or off the bus.  Relax people.  Just take a deep breath and relax.

American fast food with a Russian Twist

As a rule I try and avoid fast food places because I’m American and I think it’s bad form and terribly cliché for an American to eat at Carl’s Junior.  However, about a month ago I was so hungry and so tired of getting ripped off in Russian cafes where the salads are just mayo and oil, and really, what’s the difference between a shawma or chubreiki which are already drowning in fat and are of zero flavor and offer no nutrition whatsoever?  So I gave in and ordered a hamburger. It was amazing and for the first time in ages, I wasn’t hungry!  As I sat there trying not to inhale my food I noticed something which we don’t have in American fast food eateries.  Beer.  Yes, in Papa John’s you can sit and actually eat and drink beer.  In all fast food places it’s possible to sit and eat and drink beer.  You have to admit, it’s quite handy.