Snow and Ice in Siberia

Not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask me what I think about the weather in Russia.  I find it even more amusing that people criticize the English for always talking about the weather, yet it's always the first thing that pops out of people's mouths, and it doesn't even matter which country you are in.  You could be in Thailand and people will ask you what you think about the weather.  So, how do you like the weather in paradise?  Don't you just love the non-stop sun or mild breezes?  Without further adu, I give you my take on snow and winter in Russia. 

First of all, it’s been snowing ever since November 10 I think, and now it’s now January 2013.  I like snow, I do.  But I’ve lost count of the non-stop snow days.  I’m impressed that the people have actually been clearing the roads.  On top of that, it’s quite warm, so sometimes you have to waddle through small lakes just to cross the street, but it’s just another day in the life.  Better yet, the non-stop bitching about the weather.  I swear Russians are hard wired with the genetic disposition to complain.  And it’s not normal complaining, it’s something more like:

Russian A: Aw!  This weather, it’s so not normal!

Me: I like it.

Russian A: No, it’s terrible.  Wait until it’s -30. 

Me: Been there, done that, it’s okay really.  I come from a snowy place.

Russian A:  No, it snows more in Siberia.  Many, many snow.

Me: Uh, okay.  Snow sucks.

Russian A:  What?!  No, it’s great.  No place like Russia for snow.

 

Yes, because it only snows in Russia and no where else on earth.  Period.  Just like no other country has corruption or alcohol.  And people thought Americans were ego-centric.  Joking aside, I will give credit to Siberians for making amazing snow and ice sculptures.  After a short trip to Moscow for New Year and a visit to the 'Snowman Festival', I can safely say that Siberian artists have a true gift for carving ice and snow.  Moscow's Festival was a shocking disappointment for two reasons 1) it's the capital of attitude, people in Moscow think Moscow is the best therefore all art shows should be the best 2) it's a snowman festival in Russia, and in Moscow no less, therefore see point one to understand the surprise.  It looked as though someone took a bunch of white boxes and put sunglasses and lampshade on them, then piled them up and called them snowmen.  Yes, the snowmen weren't even made from snow.  I'm sure this made sense to someone, but I'm just not sure who.  On top of that, they even advertised this in the newspaper!  Granted, it was Moscow Times, but still, they clearly wanted this event to be known, therefore someone took the time to write about it. 

Comparing that laughable thing to Novosibirsk is like comparing a chocolate to borsh.    

There's a small ice city not far from where I live that contains an ice castle with an ice slide that kids (they say it's for kids, but I wonder if adults can ride it too because it looks like fun) can ride.  In the center of Novosibirsk, like all Russian cities there is Ploshid Lennina.  Last year they had a Star Wars theme, and this year, happily, was more traditional.  The artists worked day and night on carving these giant blocks of stone and from these blocks they created horses, a small city representation, walruses and other astounding designs. 

 It's a pity now that only after two weeks of displaying such amazing works of art, the beautiful sculptures are now littered with kopecks and gum.  

Overall, winter isn't bad.  It's bad because people make it bad.  It's cold yes, it's slippery because for some reason everyone is afraid to use salt to melt the ice the easy way. No, here, they prefer to use the giant butter knives to literally chisel at the layers of snow and ice.  You know, you would think in Land of Snow they would have developed super shovels or laser cutters or anything to make people lives easier when it comes to snow removal.  But alas no, people like to go out of their way to make their lives more difficult.  It's absurd, I know, but true all the same.  Is it really necessary to try and remove snow with a flat piece of metal that just compacts the snow instead of picking it up and moving it somewhere else?  Well, yes, I guess.  Or lets use a broom with half a handle to sweep the snow away; we want to make sure that you have to bend over for no reason so that you strain your back because no one can be bothered with following the simple physics principle of levers. 

So no, the weather isn't bad, it's just annoying at times because it just doesn't change.  Unlike Colorado where we are spoiled with non-stop atmospheric fluctuations, in Siberia when it's cold- it's cold and it will stay that way for months at a time.  In the summer, when it's hot, it's hot for months at a time and it will stay that way.  It could always be worse though, I mean we could be living in the Sahara Desert with constant sandstorms or in Iceland with volcanic ash hanging in the air.