Thursday, November 14, 2013

Wedding Bliss (part 1 of 2)

They say “home is where the heart is.”   I’ve always wondered what this means, or to be more exact how this applies to someone with a restless spirit like mine.  Is home a physical place or a mental or spiritual place?  And is your heart this beating thing in your chest or this thing which makes you cry when you see a slaughtered elephant on your computer screen?   I’ve often struggled with this question and the other question: “are you happy?” 

I firmly believe in balance, and I believe that happiness one hundred percent of the time is a ridiculous notion.  That would be like a serious overdose of serotonin for your brain and we all know too much of a good thing is a bad thing.  Why?  Because as humans we simply can’t deal with too much of one thing at a time.  Case in point: I flew half way around the world to see one of my childhood friends get married.  Before the wedding I was joking that yes it was her wedding, but it was also my vacation and a break from living in place which I am quickly getting tired of.  However, landing in New York and having the most random conversation with the attractive customs officer I realized that what I needed more than anything was that: humorous and silly conversations about nothing at all. 
Las Vegas gave me just that, and more.  As much as I like my private time, I also enjoy people, and I had actually forgotten how truly amazing and friendly Americans are.  Despite our less than ideal government, people around the world usually like us because of our uncontrollable urge to smile, make inappropriate jokes and abuse the word friend.  Case in point: on our second night in Vegas (well, my second night, the first for the happy couple) we went into this bar advertising stripper girls dressed as devils.  You can imagine the disappointment when they weren’t there.  Anyway, everyone was getting drinks and I was just sitting there in my happy bubble just enjoying the moment, when I saw a guy trying to get his friend to take this weird looking shot.  She didn’t seem excited about it, so I told her to just get it and it looked like fun.

Me: Do it!  You’re in Vegas!
Her: I don’t know what it is.
Me: Doesn’t matter.
Her: No, you do it. 
Me: What? 
Her: Please, I don’t want to.  Plus, I think you need this shot more than I do. 
Me: Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t want to insult your friend who bought you a shot.
Her Friend: No please, be a pal and drink it.
Me: Fine.

Turns out it was a Jaeger and something else.  So for the next five minutes this group of people were our new friends.  They also had an extra shot to which I made Justin drink with me. 

Each night in Vegas is a smear of laughter and memories, and naturally some stand out more than others.  Rewinding a bit was the first night, after three planes and more than 5000 miles; Justin, Misha and I were blinking and staring at the city lit skyline from Mandalay Bay on the 64th floor.  Surreal doesn’t even begin to cover it.  In the morning we had all just been in Moscow, a city famous for grey buildings and a serious love addiction to the rectangular shape and absolute fear of anything abnormal- and now here we were in Las Vegas with all of its sparkling lights, replicas of New York, Egypt and Paris all crammed together, yet somehow tasteful and breathtaking.  The word euphoria comes to mind when such moments are almost beyond words.

Moving onto and fast-forwarding to the wedding day itself.  As per tradition the night before we were on Freemont Street, the whole wedding party, with only one mission: making sure that the couple had a great time and consumed as much alcohol as possible.  Freemont Street is really one of my favorite places in Vegas because 1) it’s much cheaper 2) it’s where all the super freaks come and play 3) they have music videos on the ceiling.

On this night I brought the champagne which I had brought from Russia.  None of us are really champagne drinkers, but a special occasion calls for something equally special, and since we also didn’t have cups, we just decided to pass the bottle around.  I was quite relieved that everyone liked it and it had the desired effect of elevating people’s mood.  As we were slowly, and I mean slowly, I think a turtle could have covered more ground than we did, we took in the scenery around us.  There were a trio of nun who felt the need to show their breasts, nice.  Then there was a transgender woman with even bigger boobs which just made our whole party simultaneously massage our shoulders because we just couldn’t imagine carrying that kind of weight.  Across from all the boobs was a man sporting pink fairy wings and a G-string.  You know what really makes me laugh about all of these people?  Since they were all wearing make-up which requires a mirror, they all looked in the mirror and thought ‘damn, I am so sexy!’ and in their own way, they totally were.      


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