The Toilet Seat Question

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the fine mini-continent of Russia,

I am writing to ask you a couple of questions which have kept me awake at night, the most pressing question is about the toilet seat: why do people constantly urinate on the toilet seat? When the bathroom is unisex then it would be very easy and even expected to blame men, because that's just what people do. There are times when I think that men just like to make a mess simply because they can and they don't have to clean it up. However, when you walk into a women's bathroom and there is a small puddle not only on the seat but AROUND the seat, this question just begs to be asked. Ladies, what on earth are you doing? It's not like it's a small target, and it's not as if we have male anatomy which requires some use of geometry, for goodness sake, it's just a toilet bowl. How is it possible to pee everywhere else except the place you're supposed to go? I have never seen such poor marksmanship, and I've even been to China and Mongolia. Say what you want about sitting on the seat, germs, bacteria, general ew-ness; but come on. Are you telling me that it's more sanitary to hang out in a room for a minute standing and inhaling methane fumes then simply using a napkin to keep the place dry? It's not like it's quantum physics or something. It's a toilet. It's not hard. You walk in, aim correctly and then leave. Viola.

Question number 2. Washing dishes without using soap. I find this highly inconsistent since everyone is so obsessive about washing their hands before eating. I've always figured everyone used soap for hand washing, and I'm going to continue to think that unless I see differently; but for arguments sake, let's just think that everyone uses soap when they wash their hands. This is a hint, just in case anyone out there only uses water and calls it washing. Back to the topic at hand, I have observed for many months people using their fingertips to rinse out tea cups using only cold water. Then replacing said cup in the cupboard. Then a stranger will come in and drink from this cup. I have seen with when invited to someone's house, where I was the stranger, at work....I shudder to think of recent cafes I have recently visited. In case we all forgot, cold water doesn't clean a darn thing. Period. It needs some help.

First, um, when it comes to washing dishes, the water should be hot. Then you need this magical thing called soap. It comes in bars and in bottles. Of course, dish soap comes in a variety of scents like lemon, lilac, even apple. Companies have made dish soap quite fashionable and stylish these days, even the bottles are pretty. Soap is used to kill germs and actually wash and hot water is supposed to disinfect the dish; so you see, cold water and fingertips aren't necessary anymore. This is only acceptable when you're in the mountains and near a creek or lake. Then this is completely fine. But here, in the civilized city, one should really use hot water and soap.

 

Please, my fellow humans in this great and civilized country, there is no war, no soap rationing or shortages of any kind.  Just use soap.