Let's Celebrate Men!

Today is Man’s Day, or is it Men’s Day?  Grammatically I’m not sure, my impulse is it call it Men’s Day based on the fact that on March 8^th it’s called Women’s Day.  Overall, I guess it doesn’t really matter, it’s a day to celebrate men just because they are men.  The sarcastic and cynical part of me wants to question why we should celebrate someone because they a special body part.  “I have two arms!  Let’s party!”  The gentler side of me has to explain to my inner bitch that this was a day to honor the Soviet Army.  So now that the Soviet Army is gone and everyone is thoroughly disgusted with their country and government people decided to change this day to Men’s Day.  And let’s face it, when have people really ever argued against having a holiday?

Having a holiday called Men’s Day may seem sexist and old-fashioned but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think it may actually be a good idea.  After all, women always complain that men don’t appreciate them enough, but when was the last time women really took the time to appreciate the men in their lives?  This could be their fathers, grandfathers, brothers, cousins or even best friends.  As a man, you are expected to know a variety of things even if you don’t.  For example, how to repair a computer.  Most IT techs are men.  Heaven forbid you have a problem with your computer, but if you do, the first solution to come to mind is a guy to come and fix it.  If you have car trouble, who do you call?  A man of course.  What if there’s a big scary insect crawling around in your bathtub?  Or if you need help opening a jar of pickles?

The burden of this holiday is that shopping for men is not easy.  Most women are easy because as a man you are allowed or even expected to buy and present thoughtless flowers purchased from a street vendor with less than appealing oral hygiene.  Or some overpriced chocolate along with a tacky stuffed animal from China.  So ladies, are we expected to find and give such gifts?  No.  Of course not.  Men like toys of the electronic variety such as MP5 players that allow you to surf the net, take pictures and give you a massage.  What else?  Razors are an easy reliable present.  But then again, how many electric razors does a guy need?  Ties?  The American part of me shouts ‘golf balls!’ and then I tell myself to stop watching American movies because in this country golf doesn’t exist. 

There’s always the not-so-easy task of making a homemade dinner.  Something special.  I brought up this idea to my class of female students the other day when we were discussing this holiday and they were also thinking of ‘making something special’ because they weren’t quite sure what else to do.  A few were going to take their mates out for beer or buy tickets to the movies.  Aside from the fact that I cook almost every day, this requires me to really, really think outside the box.  I wholeheartedly accept this challenge because I love cooking.  Now I have to question my motive for preparing something so time consuming, is it for the guy in my life or really for me?

Was the creation of this holiday really just a ploy to get women to cook more for their men?    

Social Questions

I’m making eggs and thinking about something I’ve been reading called, The Beaten Path.  I can’t say it’s a good book, but it’s given me something to think about, so I guess it could be called good.  Since I’ve been here in Novosibirsk for over a year, I haven’t been traveling much.  It’s funny how now people say things like that like it’s a sport or something.  “Have you gone to the gym recently?”  “No, I’m just taking a break.”  “Have you been to Thailand?”  “No, taking a break from over salted airplane food and overcrowded security lines.”  And perhaps that’s the point, I mean; perhaps traveling has become so normal that it’s not quite as exciting and fun as it used to be.  Is it really fun or amusing to be on a bus which spews black tar into the air or to be sitting next to someone who still hasn’t figured out how a toothbrush works even though it’s the year 2013?  Is it culturally and politically relevant to discover that most stereotypes are true?  Every time I see a classic stereotype walking down the street I just want to scream.

What is a ‘classic stereotype’?  Russia has about three or four varieties; it depends on what level of society you’re talking about.  On the street you’ll see either:

1)      Sumo wrestler old woman carrying bags of cabbage or carrots with gold teeth, filthy hands and unwashed hair eating some kind of fried bread and meat combination.

2)      14 year old girl wearing the world’s smallest skirt, 5 inch heels, 2 kilos of make-up and playing with her i-Phone and smoking.

3)      Men in tracksuits with gold teeth drinking beer and smoking.

4)      Beautiful women wearing 5 inch heels, fur coat, 3 kilos of make-up, 1980’s hair and drinking beer and walking with her boyfriend who won a contest for World’s Ugliest Sweater and World’s Greatest Mullet. 

Perhaps worst of all, once a country really gets under your skin, and you start realizing that not all stereotypes are true, you start going out of your way to explain to others that: No, not everyone is an alcoholic and no, the entire population doesn’t believe the Cold War is still going on.  Strangely, few people will believe you.  It’s as if people prefer to keep their Hollywood impressions of cultures than learn something new. 

Me: Yeah, everyone in Russia has an i-Phone except me

Random person: Really, people have internet there?  No, just kidding, but for reals, is it cold in Siberia?

Me: I’m going to pretend you just didn’t ask that.  Of course it is, but it’s just like home.

Random person: Oh.  Well, okay then.

Great, now I’m thinking that I’m a bad person because I didn’t tell this person that Siberia is covered with sub-Arctic ice monster that people have to kill on a daily basis using nothing but their fur hats and butter knives and empty vodka bottles to protect themselves. 

  After going through all the stages of cultural shock and you come to peace with any country- it can be rather frustrating and earth shattering when people inquire about stereotypes about your own native country.  I try so hard to go out of my way to break the ‘American’ stereotype and perhaps by trying so hard I’ve become one.  Just to recap, American stereotypes as perceived by a foreigner (this is based on numerous questions and countries and students):

1)      Are all Americans fat?

2)      Americans are rich and all drive either a Ford or a Lexus

3)      All Americans have nice teeth

4)      All Americans eat unhealthy fast food

5)      All Americans think that there are bears in Russia

6)      All Americans carry guns

Wow, even just typing that annoys me.  First off, about the weight thing: I’m going to try and justify a tragic fact that people are heavy.  But just to point out, there are heave people here.  There’s just something so ignorant and ridiculous when people ask/ tell me things like that.  I am American and I don’t think I’m heavy.  Curvy yes, not heavy, and not in the spandex way.  This first question and sometimes statements are just rude.  I would never ask a German person if all Germans feel bad about the Holocaust.  Personally, all Germans I’ve met have been amazingly nice and down-to-earth. There just has to be a point when people say, ‘enough’!  Enough with the insulting questions and holier-than-thou insinuations.  People are people, and isn’t the whole point of traveling supposed to be fun and adventurous?  When the traveler loses their interested and curiosity perhaps they should just stay home and flip through Lonely Planet or a glossy coffee table book and read embellished stories. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t want to deal with people. 

Returning back to my point about walking stereotypes, and a classic example undoing all kinds of social skills…when my mom was in Saint Petersburg (agreeably the cultural capital of Russia) she was curious about preconceived perception that most people had a drinking problem.  I naturally told her it wasn’t necessarily true.  Not more than thirty seconds after making such a bold declaration did we pass a guy drinking beer at the bus stop and babbling incoherently.  Figures.  There were some days that I wished we could have just stayed in our hotel room because I was just tired of explaining things.  Coffee table books don’t cover rude behavior and insolent attitudes towards tourists.     

On second thought, no, there’s something to be said about sitting on a plane and staring at the people around you wondering if that’s what all people look like.  There’s also something to be said about walking along a busy street with giant signs that say things in a language you didn’t even know existed and smelling all the aromas in the air, in a word it’s intoxicating.  For all the discourtesy and rudeness there’s also genuine kindness and compassion to be found even in the most awkward moments.  Complete strangers have helped me get on correct busses or even given me free lodgings for a night because I was so lost and hadn’t had a clue on how to get home.  People have offered their assistance even when I’ve been too stubborn to admit that I need help.  In short, life isn’t always that bad.  Despite all the exasperating questions about stereotypical people, I guess, after a time you just get used to it and even though most are true, it’s a nice to find that it’s not set in stone