There are few articles of clothing which I throughly dislike: hats and scarves. I have more less made my peace with scarves simply because they are pretty and very trendy at the moment, but hats....no, I can't say that about hats. Hats look fashionable on everyone else except me, I either resemble a 12 year old boy or a criminal, and that's just not a look I'm going for. Happily, there are wonderful things called hoods which are the best of both worlds and I can deal with these. Besides, this winter in Siberia has been surprisingly warm, or mild, it's been around 20-30F degrees for months, which is a nice change from 2013 when it was -10F for months on end.
Since it has been so warm I haven't felt the need to invest in purchasing a much needed pair of gloves or hat simply because it's not cold enough for me to require these articles of clothing. I'm fairly hot blooded and I like to feel the weather, that mixed with mild claustrophobia demands that I can't wear more than two layers of clothing. My philosophy is simple, if I'm not cold, I don't need to bundle up like a marshmallow.
On New Year's Day we (a big group of people whose names aren't super important) were sharing a table with another group of people who were curious as to why I wasn't a hat and Gabriella wasn't wearing pants. She was wearing two pairs of tights and a wool skirt, again, keeping in mind it was only -8C (17F) and no wind, neither of us were cold, plus, hello, winter coats! I can’t decide if it’s because they are
really concerned or they are just curious.
Their curiosity becomes instantly hostile when I tell them that I’m not
cold. Somehow me not being cold has insulted
them and their ancestors. I am then
peppered with the usual ‘where are you from?
Oh America? America doesn’t have
these temperatures, do they?’ At which point I roll my eyes, or sigh heavily or
lose my temper and all but call them idiots.
If we had been standing in sub-zero temperatures of course my attitude
would have been different. In case the world forgot, America just suffered a Polar Vortex, Siberia is like a tropical paradise at the moment.
Since it was New Year's Day, we were drinking and they were drinking and the thing about drinking with strangers is that you never really know what they are giving you and you can't be sure that you won't quite say the wrong thing. I am the master of putting my foot in my mouth, so giving toasts in Russian still makes me nervous, even after all this time because Russians are the masters of glaring. Seriously, they never hide the fact that they don't like you which is admirable if you think about it. They don't have to go around pretending to like people if they don't, they can just glare or better yet, not say a single word. Alas, within 30 seconds I had made three Russian strangers hate me because I wasn't cold and wasn't going to apologize for it and 'I didn't have a Russian soul'. It took Gabriella 30 seconds longer, one whole minute to convince them that she had a Russian soul AND she was one thousand times cooler than I was. One minute. I think this is because she is
chattier than I am and speaks Russian with a flare that I don’t possess. She knows more street slang and rougher words
than I do, plus she’s blond and English which makes her more appealing than
me.
Maria (I'm pretty sure this was her name) first decided that I was a
terrible person because I wasn’t wearing a hat and drinking rum. Gabi on the other hand is total vodka drinker
and happily accepted the drink which was offered to her. My liver and kidneys were thanking me for
sticking to my ‘no vodka’ policy. At the
end of the day alcohol is alcohol, so who cares what it is? Apparently she cared, as did her three older
male companions. Seeing as how I
couldn’t keep up with the nonsensical conversation about snow and ice, I zoned
out and began studying the detail of the wooden bear which was carved. Gabi snapped me out of my zone by inviting me
to frolic in the snow, which honestly took some coaxing, if I’m not being
perused by a monster or babushka, I see no point in running around for no
reason; but alas she succeeded and it was fun.
We decided that snow covered cars needs some hand prints and smiley
faces, and being the terrible vandals that we are, decided to take pictures of
our endeavors.
Funnily enough, I'm not even sure why I cared so much about what these people thought. It's not as though I'll be seeing them again anytime soon. Perhaps at times I do try and consider myself as an ambassador, desperately trying to break the stereotypes that Americans are fat, lazy and stupid and I feel terrible for no clear reason if people continue to believe this.
Returning to the topic about hats, such situations are not uncommon for me. Paradoxically, girls can wear hats and micro-mini skirts in similar weather conditions and this is considered normal. A hat is a magical device which protects you from...the cold? Sneezing and coughing on people doesn't cause illness, not wearing a hat causes illness.
